accept your love

I think it is really hard to love yourself for all that you are.

The past 9 months have been an ongoing project and learning to love all the parts of me:
the intelligent part, my naivety, my religion, my face, my feet, my body, my laugh all the things i think are detractors are all things i need to find happiness in and love.

it is so hard to like all the parts of you at once, i haven't reached a place where i completely self love but i have taken steps to learn about what that looks like.


as this full moon comes upon us, i think this moon signifies a natural progression to self-love for me. i want to find that and share it with the people i love around me. part of my journey, really has been learning to pick and choose the people i care about the most. the ones that call me , and make plans to talk and call check in on me everyday (dad and mom!).

i'd like to take a moment to thank you all. i love you! from the bottom of my heart.

hey don't i know you?

i went to this event on sunday

pretty cool thing, basically went to a dudes apartment and talked to people i've never met.
a few things happend
1) i fell into infatuation (typical)
2) i exercised my intellectual side like crazy
3) i talked a lot - 3 hours straight (i know what you are thinking, obv you did that you talk so much anyway nes...i swear i listened and took breaths).

the event is centered around having cool people engage with one another which i can digg! i went with my pal pete, he is an excellent conversationalist if i say so myself.

i think i thrive in the realm of ideas. that is my one personality trait marker if you will...

the people i met were all educated,  well traveled...waspy.


at the end of it, we did an exit survey because they were recording and doing a study on the events and WSKEO in general. the survey asked one q- did you meet anyone for dating, friendship or sex? i got a little uncomfortable, but i answered yes.

is the point of all our interactions to see an end ? to meet a need? i wonder.

like do we just go into events like this, parties, coffee shop or work to meet our human need for companionship, physical touch or love? that's probably not true all the time, but i find myself before i go out wondering if i will make a friend or meet a dude. and i mean i am open to all of those things, all the time, but is that my goal? it's an interesting question.

anyway, if you are reading this , and you know me assume that i miss you.
write soon.

nes